By following the guideline for organization listed in the previous post, the author or translator of the example letter can be certain that the customer support team will comprehend the message. Here is a revised version that was rewritten by a Certified Houston Translator that works for The Marketing Analysts Translation Company.
I purchased a Samsung Galaxy Player 5″ mp3 player in your store on November 25, on Black Friday, because it was being discounted for $99.95. The product remained in its original, unopened packaging until Christmas since it was purchased as a present for my sister. Imagine how bad I felt when she unwrapped her present on Christmas day and it wouldn’t turn on.
The next day, I sent the Galaxy Player to the factory service center and was promised that the trouble was caused by a bad battery. The technician repaired the player, but four weeks later it stopped working again–another bad battery. Over the following two weeks, the player worked rather well, except for the volume switch unexpectedly from the headphones to the built-in speaker. After two weeks, the player stopped working again. For the second time, the technician attributed the problem to a bad battery and replaced it again. Even though the player is operating now, it’s still experiecing problems. The audio continues to switch from the headphones to the built-in speaker for no known reason.
Please explain your rules for returning defective products. While all the problems seem somewhat small and are protected under the 90-day warranty, I am dissapointed with the player. I hope that you will allow me to return it in exchange for a an Apple iPod. In the event the new player is more expensive that the Samsung, I would be happy to pay the difference in price, despite the fact that I normally buy only discounted products.
My family and I have been your customers for more than 12 years and this point have been extremely happy with the quality of your merchandise. My family is relying on you to stand behind your merchandise. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
This revised letter was reviewed by a certified Chicago translator who found that the revised letter satisfies the requirements for a well-organized message. The main point is obvious and is presented early. All the details are linked to the subject and purpose. The thoughts are organized in sensible groups and introduced in an intelligent series. And all essential details are provided. The outcome is a single, clear, and professional document that is simple to understand, therefore fulfilling the reader’s requirement for details.