A Good News Message That Gives Credit And Encourages Future Sales

The following letter is an example that was written by a San Jose Japanese Translation worker.  The letter is addressed to a client of a company that has recently applied and been granted credit.  As mentioned in the previous blog post, this follows the structure of a good news message.  Other good news messages that were composed by workers providing Chinese translation in New York City have been the subject of past blog posts and we encourage you to review them.

We welcome you as our newest credit customer! This is your brand new credit card, which allows purchasing from Sales Center to be even easier than before. Now it’s simple to use your new store credit card to purchase up to a total of $7,000.

With a click and ship card in your pocket, you can have access to our complete inventory, anywhere and anytime. Even if you prefer call into our order department, we can deliver your purchases within 24 hours. A message e-mailed to you on the fifth of each month will identify every credit purchase you have made with your card inside the current billing period and the amount that is currently due. Once you make a payment for the full amount due by the due date, you prevent interest from being incurred on your account. Alternatively, you can pay as low as 11% of the amount due, whatever amount is greater. A monthly interest charge of 5.5 percent of the outstanding balance will be included on your upcoming statement.

Please visit Sales Center today. As a new credit customer, you will find that each department is stocked full with the latest product styles for your entire family.

From household electronics to the latest athletic gear, kitchen appliances and clothing accessories, our goal is to be your one stop destination for a complete shopping experience. And keep in mind, we offer free delivery on orders over $50.

How Organization Assists The Audience In Comprehending The Message

By following the guideline for organization listed in the previous post, the author or translator of the example letter can be certain that the customer support team will comprehend the message.  Here is a revised version that was rewritten by a Certified Houston  Translator that works for The Marketing Analysts Translation Company.

I purchased a Samsung Galaxy Player 5″ mp3 player in your store on November 25, on Black Friday, because it was being discounted for $99.95. The product remained in its original, unopened packaging until Christmas since it was purchased as a present for my sister. Imagine how bad I felt when she unwrapped her present on Christmas day and it wouldn’t turn on.

The next day, I sent the Galaxy Player to the factory service center and was promised that the trouble was caused by a bad battery. The technician repaired the player, but four weeks later it stopped working again–another bad battery. Over the following two weeks, the player worked rather well, except for the volume switch unexpectedly from the headphones to the built-in speaker. After two weeks, the player stopped working again. For the second time, the technician attributed the problem to a bad battery and replaced it again. Even though the player is operating now, it’s still experiecing problems. The audio continues to switch from the headphones to the built-in speaker for no known reason.

Please explain your rules for returning defective products. While all the problems seem somewhat small and are protected under the 90-day warranty, I am dissapointed with the player. I hope that you will allow me to return it in exchange for a an Apple iPod. In the event the new player is more expensive that the Samsung, I would be happy to pay the difference in price, despite the fact that I normally buy only discounted products.

My family and I have been your customers for more than 12 years and this point have been extremely happy with the quality of your merchandise. My family is relying on you to stand behind your merchandise. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

This revised letter was reviewed by a certified Chicago translator who found that the revised letter satisfies the requirements for a well-organized message. The main point is obvious and is presented early. All the details are linked to the subject and purpose. The thoughts are organized in sensible groups and introduced in an intelligent series. And all essential details are provided. The outcome is a single, clear, and professional document that is simple to understand, therefore fulfilling the reader’s requirement for details.

An Example Of A Poorly Organized Letter

In continuing our series on organization messages, a Houston Translation Services worker provided this letter that we will be evaluating.  According to the translator, this letter was mailed to the customer care team of a major retailer operating in a Houston, Texas mall:

My father was in an automobile collision 6 months ago, and hasn’t had the capacity return to full-time full-time employment since.  Because he is on disability, we no longer have as much money to buy things like before. However my mother is a librarian at the Houston Public Library and consequently aren’t living in poverty. And in another month or two, my father is going to start working again.

My mother, father, brothers, sisters and I have all shopped at the location in the Galleria ever since I was a little baby. Your original location was much smaller and was located in an old mall that the city eventually tore down and built several tall buildings in its place. My father purchased my first bicycle there for my sixth birthday. I will always recall that exciting day. I even remember him paying in cash for it. My parenys usually buy things with cash. I have three brothers and two sisters, and they all need a lot of products that you sell. The mp3 player that I purchased for my oldest sister Janette for her birthday seems to be broken. My family has  sent to the factory service center twice in 6 months to get it fixed, and my sister is really protective with it and hasn’t dropped it or gotten it wet. My sister really enjoys likes to play her guitar. It’s still not working, and I’m exhausted from carrying it to the post office and home due to the fact that I work at 7-Eleven after school and never have any leisure time. I paid cash for the mp3 player too.

This is actually the very first time that I had to returned something to your store, and I think you recognize that I need a better offer.

This message demonstrates the type of poor organization that message recipients consider aggravating. Here is an analysis of what one English to French translator in Chicago found wrong:

  • Using too much time to state the issue. The author used several hundred words before mentioning the topic: the defective mp3 player. Then the author finally stated her purpose at the end: She would like a some sort of discount.
  • Including unnecessary content. The author included unnecessary details that had offered no support to her purpose or topic. Who honestly cares if the store used to be smaller or was located somewhere else several years ago? Just what exactly does working at 7-Eleven have to do with anything? Or whether her sister plays a guitar?
  • Introducing thoughts in an irrational sequence. The author placed a few of the thoughts in the incorrect spot. The grouping and order are illogical. The author is apparently presenting six points: (1) her family has cash to buy things, (2) they are long-time, loyal shoppers, (3) they make payments in cash, (4) they purchase a lot of products from the store, (5) the mp3 player won’t function correctly, and (6) the shopper would like a discount. Isn’t it more reasonable to start with the fact that the mp3 is broken? Don’t you agree that many of her thoughts should be put together under the common concept that the author is a repeat customer?
  • Removing essential details. The author neglected a few essential details. The customer care agent probably needs to have the brand, model number, and price of the mp3 player; the purchase date; the particular problems the mp3 player exhibits; and if the repairs were included under the terms of the warranty. The author also neglected to indicate the precise action she wants the store to take. Does she want a new cassette player of the same type? A different model? Or her money back?

These four types of problems are the cause of many difficulties an experienced certified translator will find in international business communication.

Writing And Translating The Recommendation Letter

Instead of simply offering facts and ideas, the recommendation report translates data, makes conclusions, and presents recommendations. The recommendation listed below offers a report in the form of a letter. The author of the translated letter, a Dallas Translation Services worker, uses technical financial language since he understands that the American reader will understand the terminology. Using a direct plan, the report commences with a short introductory paragraph that quickly addresses the topic and purpose. After the introduction, the letter provides a recommendation, an overview, and the subject areas included in the analysis. Observe that the tone of the English to French Translator is format befitting the relationship between investment counselor and client. Although he recommends buying the stock, he remains impartial, letting the facts prove his point.


First American Financial Advisers
2025 Addison Circle Drive
Addison, Texas 75001

August 27, 2012


Mr. Howard Johnson
2992 North Halstead Way
Washington, DC 20001
Dear Mr. Johnson:


We are pleased to submit the following report you requested on the feasibility of a common stock investment in ExxonMobil.


ExxonMobil liquidity ratio (.94), profit margin (10.37), and debt ratio (53.4%) are sound, thereby making ExxonMobil’s stock a good investment decision.  ExxonMobil is one of the largest publicly traded companies by market capitalization in the world and is the largest company in the world by revenue.

The  information that the Denver Translation company has gathered from your broker suggests that you invest a minimum of $10,000 in ExxonMobil ‘s common stock. ExxonMobil  is a leader in all aspects of petroleum exploration to refining industry and marketing; your investment therefore would not only be a low risk, but it would also provide an excellent return for your retirement.

Overview of ExxonMobil

ExxonMobil is a direct descendant of John D. Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company.  ExxonMobil was created by the mergers of Mobile and Exxon in 1999 and is the largest of the six oil supermajors.  ExxonMobil, is an American multinational oil and gas corporation.

Types of Common Stock

Publicly traded as XOM on the NYSE, ExxonMobil is currently priced at $88.05 per share.

In sum, ExxonMobil is a sound investment that would add strength and diversity to your portfolio. Should you wish to invest in ExxonMobil’s stock, please call me at your convenience?



Certified Financial Planner

The Function Of The Condensed Report

A condensed report’s purpose is to communicate objectively and precisely.  Several examples of condensed reports that Houston Translation Services workers are familiar with include the letter report, the memorandum, the prepared-form report; or one of a variety of other miscellaneous forms that fit into none of the first three categories.

On the job, workers must communicate with speed and precision. As a Dallas Translation Service worker, success may well depend on your skill in sharing useful information with colleagues and superiors. Here are some of the kinds of reports you might write on any workday • a requisition for parts and equipment

  • a proposal outlining reasons and suggesting plans for a new project
  • a brief set of instructions for one or more colleagues
  • a cost estimate for planning, materials, and labor on a new project
  • a report of your progress on a specific assignment
  • an hourly or daily account of your work activities
  • a voucher detailing your travel expenses
  • a report of your inspection of a site, item, or process
  • a statement of reasons for equipment malfunction or failure to meet a deadline
  • a record of a meeting’s minutes
  • a memo describing a change in company personnel policy (vacation time, promotions, etc.)
  • a report of your survey to select the best prices, materials, equipment, or service among competing firms

Whether you report your data in a letter or memo, on a prepared form, or in some miscellaneous form, will depend on your purpose and audience.  Quite possibly, the same information you cast in a memo to a superior will be incorporated in a letter to a client.

The Inquiry Stage Of The Collection Process

This article picks up where the previous post left off.  In this article The Marketing Analysts Washington D.C. Translation Company along with their partners in Houston discuss the Inquiry stage of the collection process associated with collecting from credit clients who do not speak English.

During the reminder stage, Houston Translators suggest that their clients assume the customer has forgotten or misplaced the bill.  If you receive no response, your assumption must change.  With fair or poor risks, you might decide to move directly to the urgency stage.  With good risks, that is, customers who have paid regularly, assume that the unusual circumstances have delayed payment.  Your purpose during the inquiry stage is to learn why payment hasn’t been made and to arrange for payment.

In the translated and localized versions of your inquiry letter, you must persuade the delinquent customer to pay or explain why payment cannot be made.  Your tone should be helpful, reflecting your concern with the delinquent’s problem, but your primary goal is to collect.  Emphasize payment, but don’t provide excuses by asking if the customer has complaints about your product or service.

The following inquiry to Mr. Feldstein is courteous, yet firm.

For the past five years, you have been one of our most valued clients.  Our consultants have completed for a chance to work on your programming and documenting problems.  Knowing they would receive a warm and helpful reception.

Can we now be helpful in turn?  Our reminders about your past due balances have gone unanswered.  Since you have always paid promptly, we must assume that some unusual circumstances have prevented a reply.  How may we assist you?

We’d appreciate your explanation, Mr. Feldstein, or your remittance of the past due balance of $1,200 by March 10.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Unlike the first stage, where you might send from two to five reminders, send only one letter of inquiry.  Because you send only one inquiry, don’t fall into these collection traps: (1) implying that payments can be avoided or postponed indefinitely, (2) providing delinquents with excuses for not paying, (3) suggesting that inferior goods or services are the cause of nonpayment, (4) backtracking to the reminder stage by suggesting the delinquency results from an oversight.

Request for Adjustments

Persuasive adjustment letters are used in various facets of international business for claims about poor service, damaged or shoddy products, inaccurate shipments or billings, unresolved insurance settlements, unsettled warranty disputes and credit adjustments.  In many cases, The Marketing Analysts Translation company believes that many international business situations can resolve such claims by using the direct-request approach.  When your direct request for an adjustment has been refused or ignored, or when it is in some way unusual, you must persuade the firm to grant your claim.  Assume, for example, your robots system in China is damaged by a reckless maintenance staff that was outsourced and the insurance company determines your robot’s market value at $30,500.  Two months before the accident, however, you had the gears and motors rebuilt and calibrated  If you accept the $30,500, you will lose $6,000; therefore, you write a persuasive letter explaining your particular circumstances and requesting a more equitable adjustment.

Adjustment Appeals (or Benefits)
To protect their reputations, most companies grant adjustment requests willingly.  At times, though, (as with the insurance company above) you must persuade the company that your claim is justified.  By pointing out benefits to the company, you increase your persuasiveness – and your chances of getting your claim adjusted favorably.  For instance, you could appeal to a company’s desire for a good reputation through customer satisfaction .  When that approach doesn’t get good results, many Tampa Translation Services companies recommend that international corporations appeal to the firm’s sense of fairness, its need to meet obligations or its desire to avoid legal action.

Tone in Adjustment Requests
The tone of your message conveys your attitude and is reflected in your words, phrases and sentences.  Persuasive requests call for a reasonable, logical tone, because rarely will your reader be the same person who made the mistake in your order or sent you bad merchandise.  To vent your anger on this is counterproductive, as is insulting to the company, its employers or its policies.  Your goal is to have your request granted—not to win a bout at name calling.  Your tone should be courteous, tactful and when appropriate, sympathetic.  We all make mistakes; recognizing that facts help you present a reasoned—and reasonable—argument.

Part III: Request for Favors

Creating Interest

Having gained your reader’s attention, hold it by creating interest and showing that your request is worthwhile.  For best practice, Boston French Translation workers recommend that you employ a number of useful strategies for gaining reader interest: (1) Use the word “You” throughout and focus on the reader’s concerns.  (2) Make sure to choose a topic that is interesting to the reader.  (3) Keep the interest of the reader by emphasizing a direct benefit (4) Imply other benefits.  (5) Delay the request until the request until the reader’s interest is high.

Offering Proof (or justifying your request)

To prove the legitimacy of your request, anticipate questions and objections.  One outline that is suggested by The Marketing Analysts Translations is to open with points the manager can agree to; point out the benefits; include facts; explain the nature of the letter; show the reasonableness of the request; demonstrate the company’s experience and expertise; delay the request until evidence has been presented; and confident as the reader to act.

Requesting a Favor from a Speaker

When you’re writing a persuasive request inviting a speaker to your meeting, include special details to encourage acceptance.  Many Philadelphia Translation Services recommend that you describe the audience, other speakers, equipment available (overhead, opaque, or video projector), the size of the conference or lecture hall, and the entire time allocated for the talk.  Whenever possible, use these details as additional benefits.  For instance, mentioning other well-known speakers might persuade your reader to attend because of the prestige of being included.

Persuading Your Reader To Act

After gaining attention, creating interest and offering proof, ask your reader to act.  Avoid apologies, such as, “If you can kindly find the time…” Instead, be positive: “Please complete the survey and mail it in the enclosed envelope,” or “I would greatly appreciate your completing the survey and mailing it in the enclosed envelope.”

Be sure to give enough information to act upon your request.  If you’re asking someone to address a trade symposium, explain how the speaker can confirm and who to notify.

Breaking The Bad News To Non-English Speakers

Bad-news messages written in any language should follow the indirect plan for business writing, which calls for a buffer opening, followed in order by an explanation, the refusal and a pleasant close.  Washington D.C. translators suggest that when a client from a global corporation crafts such a message, he should show that his decision is fair and reasonable so that he retains the reader’s goodwill.  When possible, the The Marketing Analysts Translations suggest that clients offer an alternative, compromise or counter proposal to offset the refusal.

Revision Checklist

  1. Does the letter begin with a buffer that relates to the reader’s concerns?
  2. Does the buffer avoid stock opening?
  3. Does the buffer introduce the topics?
  4. Does the buffer avoid misleading statements?
  5. Will the buffer make the reader more receptive to the explanation?
  6. Does the buffer serve as a natural transition to the explanation?
  7. Is the explanation thorough?
  8. Will the explanation convince readers that the refusal is based on sound reasons?
  9. Does the refusal follow naturally from the explanation?
  10. Is the refusal the logical outcome of the explanation?
  11. Is the refusal tactful?
  12. Have you offered an alternative or a compromise whenever possible?
  13. Does the close avoid clichés?
  14. Does the message end on a pleasant note?
  15. Does the close avoid suggestion of future problems?

Breaking Bad News To Your International Trading Partners

When your message containing disappointing news such as adjustment or credit refusals is to be targeted to a foreign, non-English speaking client contains, begin directly.  The Marketing Analysts Translation Company suggests that you explain why you are refusing the request before you say “no.”  The direct plan is too abrupt for bad news, because readers are annoyed when denied something they believe is rightfully theirs.  A refusal before an explanation leaves readers in no mood to read further.  By explaining the refusal first, you stand a better chance of showing that your decision is reasonable.  If you succeed, you usually retain their goodwill—and their business.

Using The Direct Plan

Use the following organization for bad news:

  1. Begin with a buffer, a neutral statement your reader finds agreeable.
  2. Present your explanation to show that your decision is based on careful analysis.
  3. State your refusal as the logical conclusion for analysis
  4. Close on a positive note, expressing your desire for a continued relationship.

According to the Portuguese Translation Houston Company, by following the indirect plan and keeping the reader’s concern’s central, the revised direct plan is more likely to retain customer goodwill.  Instead of relying on an abstract “company policy,” the revision provides concrete reasoning for the refusal and offers a compromise.  Let’s look more closely at the four parts of a bad-news message and study the options for presenting disappointing news.

Buffer Opening

Base your buffer opening on statements in the letter you receive.  Most Birth Certificate Translation companies recommend that you find some point in the letter you can agree with, and begin there.  Having established this initial agreement, you explain why you can’t release the information.  In short, your buffer should not mislead.  It should introduce your topic, make your reader more receptive to the subsequent explanation and lead into the body of your text.


Explanations should show that you’ve analyzed the problem.  A group of Chicago German Translation workers recommend that business people begin their explanation with relevant details to show your knowledge of the situation and concern for the reader.  Avoid vague terms such as company policy and equal treatment.  Many customers are frustrated by the lazy clerk who parrots, “It’s company policy,” rather than trying to resolve the problem. If the policy is sound, as it should be, briefly explain it.

In the following letter, note how the explanation follows naturally from the buffer.  The writer explains why the problem occurs, implicitly refuses the requested refund and finally offers a solution.  While not the one requested, the solution shows that the writer has made a sincere effort to help.


A tacit or implied refusal is an excellent way to avoid the following overly negative statements: “Therefore, we must refuse a refund,” the writer explains and offers a solution.  The refusal is the logical outcome of the explanation and the solution.  In turn, lessens the refusal’s impact.

A tacit or implied refusal is an excellent way to avoid the following overly negative statements: we must deny, we cannot grant, or I must refuse.  The tacit refusal also must be unambiguous; otherwise, your response could be misleading.  If someone persists with a claim despite your previous refusal(s), blunt negatives may be necessary.

Positive Close

After stating the refusal, change the subject and end on a pleasant note.  The reader will not forget the refusal, but you hope that he or she will accept your reasons.